Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Mom, mommy, mother, momma...

I wondered if I would feel the need to write close to Mother's Day.
Dragging my feet...

No childhood stories this time. There just isn't much to tell. I just find myself each May realizing that for some people, Mother's Day is a really tough day. Not everyone has a loving mother. Not everyone who wants to be a mom gets to be one. Some have recently lost a mom.

It's not all hearts and flowers.


However, I will say that voids can be filled. Most women are the great "fillers of gaps." It is part of our innate being to smooth over rough spots and bind broken places. We were created to be the soft place to fall for those we love. For however life has maimed some and left them without these gifts to share, God has placed a few strategic nurturers in their wake to pick up the pieces for the lonely who need mothers.

A favorite line of mine from a movie is from Hook when the cute little girl tells mean Captain Hook that he "needs a mother very, very badly".

We all do need a mommy. But not everyone was born to a nurturer. But, for those of us girls that weren't given a true mommy, I am living proof that God fills the gaps. Several beautiful women have come into my life and lived out what love looks like. They have held me as I cried, spoken love over me, and lived out motherhood in a way that is an example to me. It has been vital to me and I am forever grateful.

This Mother's day, I thank God for these women and ask that everyone is a little more aware that it can be a tough day for many.

When my first daughter was born I was ecstatic. And then terrified. All I had known of a mother/daughter relationship was difficulty, and thought it was destined to be that way. It's sad how much of a sticky mess that relationship can be! We all spend years recovering from the issues we deal with with our mothers, big or small.

For instance, cleaning house. I have talked to many, many women who still compare the way they clean to the way their mother did.

A friend of a friend loaned me this...
If you're stopping by to see me, no need to call first.
If you're stopping by to see my house, call first!

The way our mothers dressed, cooked, doled out rules. Each of these things and many more are major influences for the way we choose to do them.

One thing I know, whatever our mothers did or didn't do we can lay that down, forgive them for being the humans that they were and move forward into loving our children with the perfect love designed just for us to give.

I have no greater joy than to hear one of my three bless me by calling me "Momma". That one little word fills my love cup until it overflows. It says to me that I have mattered all the way to their hearts. God did that for me. He gave me love to pour out of broken places. How beautiful is that?

If you are one of those blessed with a true mommy, revel in it! Shower her with gratitude, thank her for her selflessness and then find someone who may need you to pay it forward.

If in doubt, act like a mommy.

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