A love story

Disclaimer: This is a sappy one. If you're not up for a good love story, stop now. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Twenty one years ago today, this moment changed the world forever.

Well, we were 21 years younger then so use your imagination.

After a volleyball game I got kissed and the earth shifted. Not your average kiss. Not your average guy. Average stopped here and has never been found again.

Two lonely kids fell in love, defied the odds and God took what the enemy intended to use to wipe us out to write a story that is entirely His. And we jumped out of the box for the first of many, many times.

Ours is a story of mistakes, and grace. It may not have always been a bed of roses, but I prefer a handful of daffodils from the side of the road anyday.

In a nutshell...

We each had interesting childhoods that left us looking for love in all the wrong places. Let's sum that up by saying that we often reflect upon where we would've ended up had God not intervened, and then quickly quit that game because I don't think it would have been pretty.

We went to a tiny Christian school and knew each other since we were 12. The first time I saw him, I thought he was soooo cute. I also thought he was a bit cocky and mentioned that to someone and it got back to him. He wrote me a note then and it was dramatic, let me tell ya, and tried to explain that he just "needed to come out of the woodwork." I remember sighing and saying, "Hmmm...Alison Kirksey." That may be the last time we talked until we were in 11th grade. We were in a class of like 12 and managed to avoid each other for about 4 years!! Then, in science we sat at a lab table across from each other and both of us would yawn (no offense, Mr. Hellwig) and cry. You see, we both have this strange thing where our eyes water when we yawn. So that made us laugh and opened up conversation and before too long, the aforementioned volleyball game.
We quickly headed down a dangerous path. We knew how much we loved each other and knew that no one else would understand the reality of that. We knew we were doing some things wrong, but felt somewhat helpless to change the tide. We were about to graduate and knew we were headed different directions and all we wanted was to be together and knew that was impossible.
When the little line said a life had been created, I must say we were ecstatic and terrified. We literally laughed and laughed because we had just found our way out of our planned paths without really meaning to.
Then we quit laughing because we had a lot of music to face. And that was not pretty. We decided to get things in order and make it right in whatever way we could. We began by confessing what we had done (though we could've hidden it until we graduated) to our student body and to our church body in order to take it out of the hands of the enemy, and begin our lives together with a forgiven, clean slate. We felt forgiven by some, humbled, and beyond excited for our future together.

We loved everything about being married. We loved each stage of the game from one baby to eventually three. We have always been very best friends and navigated the bumps and paths holding tightly to the hand of the One Who gave us the gift of each other. (A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecc. 4:12) Christian worked very hard and has always provided well for us, but he traveled a LOT worldwide and around the country in addition to his regular hours at the office and we missed him! We were beyond blessed when two years ago he got a job working still in the jet engine industry but doing so from home--wherever that home may be.
Words cannot describe what a gift it is to me to be with my husband every day. I don't think everyone could or should have so many hours together, but for us, it is ideal. With the kids doing school from home for the past 7 years, we are good to go~and we do! We just completed our goal of road-tripping all 48 states together. Over the years we have driven here, there, and everywhere and decided to squeeze the last 13 into one big ol' trip. Hence, the other blog...

So here we are all these years later. I'm feeling reflective.
Today some guys came and got rid of the furniture we've had for 15 years or so, and other guys came and brought some more. It was time. The cheap side of me struggles with major purchases, but my sweet husband pointed out the ripped cushions, faded color, broken frame and springs on our navy brown (used to be blue) pretend leather couches.
So that man, bless his heart, bought me a couch, love couch (love seat to some) and chair for Valentine's Day. Some girls get roses and chocolate. This spoiled girl got couches. I think he knew that it would be harder to say no if it was a gift. And then he followed up with, "If you still want candy, look through the cushions of the old couch and any candy you find is all yours." Does it get any better?

Food, Glorious Food!!

Oliver! fans, sing along...

Food, glorious food!
Eat right through the menu.
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite.
In this interlude --
The food,
Once again, food
Fabulous food,
Glorious food.

Oh, how I love food. I mean, I love it like I love very few things. Let's get this straight. There's a special kind of love for God and my family. In the language of Alison, that kind of love has its own special name. I'm not entirely sure what that name is, but it's the real thing.
When I talk about loving food, it's different, but, boy, is it important! There is only one reason for which I have willingly gone without food and it is and can only be for Jesus. To skip a meal for any other reason is ridiculous. And to eat food you aren't enjoying is akin to a crime in my humble opinion. Do NOT waste calories on anything yucky.
I knew Addie and I were an awful lot alike when she was about five and asked what her favorite thing was and she said, "Dinner."
What's fun is I know that God loves food, too. I will share my theory on this. From the very beginning of time, His creation story included food, aka forbidden fruit. We could share a zillion other instances where God used food and eating to tell a story or drive home a point. I have read that there are over 700 references to eating in the Bible. This is good news to me because I plan on a lot of eating when I get to heaven! It will be delicious and without guilt and oh, my dinner guests! Just imagine...

When I was a kid, I had a Dad who would eat anything and a Mom who was pretty sure she was a good cook because he told her she was. She wasn't. She would cook all day some recipe from scratch in which she had some really great idea to substitute something disgusting in that never should have been substituted. We choked it down because well, we were just plain hungry.
I really don't know what I ate from about 7th grade on when she rarely made dinner anymore. But around that time, my parents began leaving home a lot when they weren't working and I was left alone for days at a time with very little food in the house and I got hungry and creative. I'm talking mixing butter with sugar and flour for dessert and melting cheese in the microwave and eating it with a fork. I learned that cheese slices are great on anything from canned green beans to potato chips! I didn't know the first thing about cooking then so when all of a sudden I was married, I jumped into food prep with a passion. I didn't know a chuck roast from a T-bone then, but I was determined to make Christian the happiest man in the world by food alone. With our tiny budget (when a sub from Plumb's was eating out) I had to be creative and I was and darn proud of it!

Somehow, since then, I have gained somewhat of a reputation for cooking. I am truly not sure how that happened. Well, my theory is that my friends have all appreciated that I have been the one willing to put forth the meals so in order to encourage me to provide, they tell me I'm amazing so I continue. Oh no. This sounds like the past repeating itself.
I am not a fancy cook. I love comfort food that fills you up and makes you smile. I love soups and breads and pies. And I cook for anyone who appreciates it. My favorite compliment to date: "Those brownies changed my life."

I'm contemplating compiling a cookbook...

Back in the days of high school, I learned to count calories. That was extremely dangerous for me as I soon became obsessed with that process and wasn't happy unless the number was ridiculously low. I was rescued from what I believe could have been a very serious, long-term problem when I first learned I was pregnant. I could eat well for my child and I did.

The food relationship is a tricky one. We need it. We want it. We celebrate with it. We show our love with it. Food is a reward, a solace, an avenue of creativity.
For moms, often the entire world revolves around food prep, shopping for food, meal planning, making sure our children have all the nutrition they need. It is impossible to have a day without planning three times how our family will get their fill. When guys plan a day, they get in the car to go. When a mom plans a day, she plans around when and how she can provide the meals. With Justin gone, I can honestly say the only thing I really worry about for him is if he is eating well. The ability to make him food has been taken away from me and it leaves me feeling like I need some kind of nicotine patch.

When does it all go wrong? How to draw the line? This summer I was told I looked like I'd gained weight--about ten pounds. I hadn't. In fact, in my whole adult life I've probably gained ten pounds, but I love those guys! They are there when I am in the midst of enjoying a Mountain Dew here and there, and eating dessert when it sounds good, and being smart yet enjoying life. They go away when I'm abstaining from all those lovely parts of my day.

Ahhh...to find the balance. Gluttony is, after all, a really nasty word that none of us like to think about. I know folks who've left a church because the pastor dared to use that "G" word because it really hit a tender spot (probably just below the rib cage).

There's a spot in us that has cravings. I've learned that the satisfaction that fills that spot has a shape that can only be filled by One. He made us full of cravings! When it's all lined up, though and we taste and see that He is good the rest is really just the extra frosting with sprinkles on top. Just the way I like it.

Perspective...

Dictionary.com says it's a way of regarding situations, facts, etc. and judging their relative importance.

I am completely entranced with the word. I guess, really, I'm entranced with its meaning to me. EVERYTHING is about perspective! Am I stuck or waiting for an opportunity? Am I bored or do I have free time? Am I old or experienced? (This is rhetorical. I'm experienced, duh!) :o)
Perspective helps me care about a tragic event that happens somewhere when I've been to that place and seen it myself or know someone involved.

The last few days I have spent doing very little compared to usual days. Due to a business trip that Christian took Kyrsten on, (She sent me a text saying, "we watched Mr. Deeds, and ordered Buffalo Wild Wings then went to the pool, then ate cookies, and now watching a gator show"), Addie and I had four days to spend just the two of us which is a first since I took her to Chicago when she was about 10 for a dance competition. That was a nonstop fun trip, but such a great memory since it was our first together. I am truly sorry, upon reflection, that we didn't do more of this one-on-one time. It is such a gift to us both. Seriously, she's seventeen and I just dont have that much time with her living with me!! Can I just tell you what an amazing daughter I have? No, I can't. Blogspot doesn't have enough space.

This time, colds and well, girl issues had us down for the count. So, we rallied enough to go rent tons of chick flicks and got some of our favorite foods and camped out for days. Yup, we felt yucky. Yup, we were lazy. Yup, it was perfect for us. Dolce far niente (the pleasure of doing nothing). We all need to see who our kids are outside of being our kids. After just a few years, they cease being "kids" and become these people that really are quite amazing.

My parents always made me think that the only fun part about having kids was when they were little and blatantly said that the fun was OVER when we became teenagers. It's a lie. Don't ever believe it. Like with anything else, you get out of it what you put into it.

When my kids were little, everything was just a phase. That is how I got through everything. Literally, everything from potty training to the first girlfriend. With some perspective, childhood is just half of a second, isn't it?

With all of my years of piano lessons every single week with a total of three teachers, I remember very few moments about those lessons. Like literally three things and they had nothing to do with piano. I can play the piano, so I know I was there, but where did the memory of all that time go?
Our time with our kids at home is just a blip on the radar.
I will enjoy today so tomorrow, they still want to enjoy a day with me.
Perspective teaches me that I want to live for the next eighty trillion years, not just this eighty. Why spend my days filled with plans for the mysterious "someday"? Its the right thing to do, right? We insure and plan and invest instead of the living, laughing, and loving the plaques on our walls are supposed to be reminding us about. Let's sacrifice a bit of time today for the possibility of financial security tomorrow...?

Nope. I'm out on that. I have the very best retirement plan. For now, I live and love with the resources I've been given and trust my Daddy Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills for the rest. This means dreams are lived present tense, not in the future. He has NEVER let me down. Never. In fact, quite the opposite. The more I trust, the more He pours out. The more I tossed out my dreams and plans, the bigger the dreams and plans He had for me became and came to be!
Oh, this could get really dicey...moving on...

We just watched a movie called Dear John. Sweet movie with just one scene to fast-forward through (just cannot bring myself to watch a love scene with my kids). In it the guy holds his thumb up to the sky and he says that wherever the moon is in the sky a thumb is big enough to cover it up. You wink and hold your arm and thumb up and the moon hides. That's such a great perspective illustration.
So is this one:

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Cor. 13:12 MSG)

It's really all about love, isn't it?

This last week I caught a cold. It has been the best-worst cold of my life.
It really was time because I haven't been sick in a year! Yup! A whole year!! To what do I attribute my good health, you ask? Staying away from doctors, lots of good hubby massages, some natural remedies, and God loves me. Simplistic? Maybe. But our whole family has avoided medical care for years, and I don't believe in knocking on wood. I told you we were weird! ;o)

Anyway, we traveled 12 days or son ago to visit our son, Justin, in Mississippi. He is currently living there and working as a disassembly technician on airplanes. He is there to earn and save money to later fulfill his dreams. He works hard and well and we are so very proud of him, but I must say this move of his has been one of the toughest challenges we have faced.
We are the closest family I know. We do everything together and always have and we really like it that way. We went from years of day-to-day life together to living very closely in an RV to being 919 miles apart. The first time I left him to come back to Michigan he was very sick and I felt like I was abandoning him. It ranks in the top 5 worst days EVER.

So, we drove 15 hours on a Wednesday and spent a delightful weekend with him in Orange Beach, AL and then spent the week in Mable (his RV home) just like old times. Got to hang out with Thcott and Uncle Rico--two of the coolest guinea pigs ever.

Had some epic cupcakes...

AND caught a cold together! Once again, I left him sick and then proceeded to drive and drive and drive home. As great as we are at road-trippin', a chest cold does not make for 15 hours of good times. So that it why it's the worst cold.

Why is it the best cold? I am being loved. Action verb.

I recently sat down with a friend who is married and has little ones. She is very loved by her husband but needs some action verb proof of it. I was remembering back to when my three were little and I was teaching piano a LOT and Christian worked full time plus traveled plus worked an office out of Detroit a few days a week. Life was so crazy-busy then and we hadn't been married that long and we had a lot to learn about each other. Christian didn't know every single thing about my needs then, nor I his. We were doing our best and loved each other deeply, but at the end of the day, I was just wishing for a dishwasher. Not exactly dreaming of how I could serve him better.
The knowledge of love grows.

This cold, my husband was rubbing my back and running the errands and filling the tub. He was praying over me and let me just tell you, I felt loved. He has learned and learned well.

Possibly about four years ago, a stranger came to our house and told us he had a message for our family from God. I must say the whole experience was a bit odd. He was, after all, a complete stranger and he was rather dramatic and the way he prayed made the kids giggle no matter how hard they tried to keep a straight face. In a nutshell, he told us that God was about to reveal to us in a whole new way how much He loves us. That if we could grasp even just the tiniest glimpse of how loved we are it would change the entire fabric of our being. That God's love is so very powerful and strong and limitless and that in the end, His love for us is all that matters.
Since then, God has shown us things that would take me a lifetime of blogging to share. But today, as my husband served me from his heart, I was reminded that every single person just longs to be loved like that. No matter where they come from, what they've done, what they look or smell like...everyone just longs to be loved.

If I could pass along even a bit of what I've learned in the last few years through some extreme circumstances that drew me to suck some serious rug at the feet of Jesus, it would be that there is a love so real and ready and available that would literally alter one's existence. I could be the best person from now til eternity; follow every societal rule and never be worthy. It doesn't matter one bit how much I love God. He doesn't need it from me (however much He would like it). What matters is how very much He loves me. Of that love, I will shout from the rooftops.

It is so very good to be loved.

To blog or not to blog. That is the question.

I feel like I should begin with a disclaimer. Or, at the very least, some explanation. I will say that I have wrestled with whether or not the blog should continue. Not to offend others in the world of blog, but often the whole concept is a bit narcisstic; to write all about me and think that anyone else should care.

On the other hand, our family is really weird and we know this and, as a matter of fact, love this about ourselves, and sometimes that demands explanation.

Lately, I have been receiving inquiries in my inbox on facebook asking legitimate, if not a bit amusing, questions that could be summed up something like, "How in the world do you live like this?" And, of course, we often have little birdies tell us about little comments made about our unique family. Gotta love those folks who always have an opinion! :o)

We do, in fact, have a great story to tell. It began 21 years ago and fascinates us still. Perhaps, if I continue to write and you all continue to read, some of the mysteries will be uncovered (insert blog drama here). Perhaps, I will just get some of my daily word quota used up (which could make my husband an even happier guy). Perhaps, this will just help me document the daily.
All and whatever. Tis my motto!