A love letter...

As I lie in bed at the end of a day, and all is finally still, Lord, I'm so glad that You love me.



I climb up on Your lap and know that You have been waiting for me to slow down and notice You. You always care about the condition of my heart. Not what I did or didn't accomplish. You just want to hear my voice and soothe my spirit.
And there's no place like Your lap. Here is where I breathe, and hear You whisper. Thank You for the way You let me know how much I matter. No fancy words needed when it's just You and me. There is no order necessary in our conversation. You just know me and want me to know You more.
I simply love You. You showed me how. This is a good place to be.

As I wake in the morning, I face a fresh, new day~full of Your amazing promises to me.




I step into that fresh start with joy in my heart and peace deep inside because all is right in my world because of You. I have no reason to worry~You have taught me how to trust You fully. And, if I forget, I bring my concern to You, and You carry my load.
I am not afraid anymore. All I have is from You, and I know how much You love me so I leave it all in Your hands. You take such good care of me!
You even care about my little details. I love when You help me find my keys when I can't, or put one of "our songs" on at just the right moment. Or when you send someone across my path to say just what You wanted me to hear.
You speak peace into my spirit and breathe life into broken places.
You know me so well.
I simply love You. You showed me how. This is a good place to be.
song

Birthday Season

I suppose this morning of all mornings I have the right to wax nostalgic. It was, after all, two decades ago almost to the minute that I was born to motherhood. A state of being that altered my existence beyond my imagination and forever changed the shape of my heart. Six pounds, eleven ounces of a gorgeous little blond boy turned a couple of kids into a momma and a daddy and we've loved every single second. And, in retrospect, to contemplate how the enemy attempted to wipe us out; but God had such an amazing victory in store. One that would change the course of generations. But, I digress...

This is a big birthday year at our house. We've been talking about this year for some time now, knowing it was coming. This year Justin exits the teen years (though none of us have thought of him as a teen for some time now), Addie turns eighteen (which makes her, according to some standards, an adult), and Kyrsten enters the teen years (odd because everyone thinks she's fifteen already.)

My kids were due on November 3rd, 5th, and 7th in their respective years. That's because Christian and I love to plan and schedule. NOT! No, we wanted our babies desperately, but certainly did not know things would be so organized!
Each fall that I was pregnant, I began laboring on October 18th. I was the Queen of False Labor. Justin was born some 40+ hours later (I know, I've been waiting for my medal for that one),

Addie, pretty close to schedule,

Kyrsten, several days late.

Yesterday, I had lunch with Kyrsten and two lifelong friends--a mother/daughter pair. The adults were saying how it doesn't seem possible that my littlest was a baby THIRTEEN years ago! Where did the time go? Kyrsten, however, thinks thirteen years has been quite a long time! :o)
Time is a weird thing isn't it? I told her that I think it's like when you're riding in a car. If you're young, it's like looking out the windshield where things are coming toward you somewhat slowly. If you're older, like me, it's like looking out the side window and things are whipping by the window. Age even more, and it seems the view is more and more about the rear window and looking back.
My wise friend, Jenny said, "What a good analogy! The older we get the more we find ourselves looking at where we've been."
So true. I imagine it won't feel like too long, and Christian and I will be waxing nostalgic about the kids and grandkids and the good old days of yesteryear--but then again, you can't really stare out the back window of a Harley, can you?

Happy Birthdays, my babies...

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Momma-isms

As I get older, I find I'm having moments where little snippets from my childhood are coming back to me at random moments. My dad was such a goofball, and had a million little things he said that made us all laugh--at least the first 150 or so times he said them. Those little "Ralph-isms" keep coming up in my speech and even in my husband's here and there, and warming my heart. As a matter of fact, I even hear them come out the mouth of my oldest now and then. We can all smile now as we remember that side of my dad. Surely, God has done a healing work!

Repeating truths is so important. I have verses that have literally gotten me through written on cards and stuck all over my house from the walls to the refrigerator. They're like old friends now that encourage me when I need a lift and remind me when I forget how big my God is. Eventually, they get stuck in my mind.

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You. Isaiah 26:3

The other day I was repeating one of my own phrases that make my children roll their eyes. I have said these things to my children all throughout their lives, and though they roll their eyes now, I'm sure they will find them coming out of their mouths someday! For now, I'm going to write them down--just in case they try to forget!

1. Do the thing until you feel the thing.
This has a couple applications to me. When the kids were really small and someone hurt someone else's feelings, an apology was needed. Oftentimes, one sniffling toddler was made to look the other one in the eye and say a genuine, "I'm sorry." I can just see their little faces as they would look at me and say, "But, I'm not really sorry! Why do I have to say it?"
Well, because sometimes the feelings follow the words. We say we are sorry and sure enough when we see what that meant to somebody else, all of a sudden we realize we did mean it after all! It worked like a charm.
It also makes me think of my little ones who were taught about the goodness of God in our family, but our story hadn't become their own yet. I remember one of my little ones saying, "I want to love Jesus, but I don't really feel it yet."
Again, I would say, "Do the thing until you feel the thing." They learned what love looked like, and claimed it over their little lives before they even realized how powerful those words would be! It wasn't too long before our faith became their own--when the love of God became more than a family belief and was known deep in their very own spirit.

Isn't that true for us? There are so many times in my life, whether I'm working or dealing with a family issue where my heart isn't really where it should be. My words can lead me, though; in a good way or a bad one! Maybe I'm not feeling like I'm brimming over with love for my husband in a given moment, but when I let my words of love lead, feelings can change. We don't want to be led by our emotions. We want to be led by what is truth.

2. A job worth doing is a job worth doing well.
Granted, this one's been around a while, but I say it every time chores are done halfway around here. Isn't it so true, though? Why bother putting the effort in if in the end you can't be proud of it?

3. Never put off for tomorrow what you can do today.
This one goes hand in hand with number two, but has pushed me many times to follow through and finish something I've started when I really wanted to quit. Procrastination is a bad, bad habit and when you do it a little, you can easily begin to do it more often.
Now, this comes in moderation for me. If there is fun to be had playing with my family, I'm a firm believer in enjoying a stolen moment. Work will be there tomorrow!
As a child, too many adults in my life validated themselves by working hard. It was very easy to overlook a child who needed some love and time.
Moments cannot be retrieved.

4. There's nothing you and I can't handle together.
I want my kids to have this one engraved on their hearts. It's so important for them to know that if they bring their stuff to me and their dad, we will help them through it. If they hide things, they go alone and we walk separate paths. Our paths as a family were not meant to be walked alone. We have arms to hold each other up.

5. You do bad things, bad things happen. You do good things, good things happen.
There are things in this world called natural consequences. We can look around at the lives of people around us and see this seemingly obvious truth in every direction. Sometimes, when faced with a temptation we need to be reminded of the outcome. It will most definitely reflect the decision.

6. Do the best you can do. That's all you can do, Kid.
This one is a recycled Ralph-ism. My dad didn't pass on a whole lot of wisdom to me, but this one I remember. He would tell me this when I had a test to take, or was nervous about an upcoming event.
It's really so simple it's almost silly, but it's so true! All we have to offer is our best. If we are being faithful and doing our very best, no one can really expect more, can they? And if we fail after having done our best, we should have no regrets.

My last one is one is just a universal truth known by all who dwell in this home. It helps them keep stay focused and put things in their proper order. It reminds them that secrets are always found out, Daddy will always come to my defense, and there's no use fighting too hard because...

7. Momma always wins.

Isn't that great? So simple, yet so eloquent. I've even made them repeat the rule back to me should they sound like it's fading from their minds.
I really like that one.

I want to hear some of your words! What things do you find yourself repeating as words of wisdom at your house? Please share them as comments here on the blog. I have a feeling there's a lot of wisdom to go around!




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The shape I'm in

Image--1. a mental picture or impression of something
2. An exact likeness

Recently, I spent some time in a dressing room.

If you are of the female persuasion you know how devastating this can be. I firmly believe that the most disheartening experience a woman over about age 13 can face is the set of mirrors that encloses you on three sides and shows you glimpses and views of yourself you haven't seen in quite some time. And come to find out, you didn't want to see at all.
The person who has the brilliant idea to utilize softer lighting and flattering mirrors in a dressing room will sell more clothes than every other store put together. As I see it, the ugliest, brightest lights that show every lump and bump are the ones currently being used. And I swear those mirrors are shipped in from some sadistic funhouse.
You know I'm telling the truth, ladies.

This time, oh so thankfully, was not the dreaded bathing suit or undergarment shopping.
And at the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, I will tell you that my husband took me shopping and helped me choose clothes for this fall and winter, and we had a great time. Usually, clothes for me are dead last on my list of priorities, and consist of clearance rack rescue.
But this year, the closet pickings were looking a bit slim, and I guess he figured I'd get a little chilly, or embarrassed, running around this winter without any on because he hooked me up. He's so good to me.
But, despite the best possible shopping experience, I left feeling disheartened and discouraged. I struggled with the image in the mirror. It just wasn't what I had hoped it was. I wish I was over this stage in my life where it matters. Apparently, I'm not.

The store that is my favorite has salesgirls that helped me pick things out and give me advice. It's really the only way I know how to to shop any more. I don't know what section to shop in in any department stores. Maybe it's because I don't know exactly how a woman my age should look.
Probably because in my head I'm still about 22. I think of myself as a girl. Not an almost forty year old woman. Big, HUGE sigh.........

No matter our size or shape, I firmly believe every person struggles with body image at some point or another, and some of us struggle a bit longer in life than others.


Obviously, everyone at some point has made a conscious effort to create the image of themselves that they want to portray to the world. Much as a sculptor forms an image from raw material into art.
It begins around adolescence, (when we realize that our mothers actually had a good idea when they made us brush our teeth and do our hair), and hopefully changes and morphs until eventually one presents him/herself the way they want to look.
We start with a costume of sorts to fit into whatever crowd we associate ourselves with (depending on how hard we are trying to not look like our parents), and then, somehow, we spend the rest of our lives trying to look like whatever unrealistic, airbrushed picture society tells us to emulate.

What bothers me is that we have this picture in our mind of how we should look, and then we base our success or failure on that image in our mind.
What also bothers me is how much we are compelled to dwell on our outside sculpture and how much less we are compelled to shape our inside.

What shows more?

At the end of the day, aren't you more moved by the encounters you've had with people than the way they presented themselves. What did you notice? How they behaved, or what they were wearing?

Today, I was blessed to run into a man at the grocery store that I met only once, but he hugely impacted my life. He was used by God to speak life into my world at an age when I had NOTHING going for me. I happen to know he has impacted literally thousands of people in the same way, yet all these years later he knew my face. Our spirits had connected once upon a time and again today. I wept in the baking aisle as I thanked him for making room in his world for me.

I have no idea what he was wearing or if he had gained any weight over the years. Wouldn't that have been ridiculous to notice?

When I looked in his eyes, I saw the image of my God reflected.
"God created man in His own image." Genesis 1:27

Typically, when I step out for the day, I have spent nearly an hour preparing my outside to look as good as it's going to look.
How about preparing the image that should matter? What do people remember from an encounter with me?

I'm facing the fact that I'll probably never find perfection in a three-way mirror. But, I have the opportunity to look into the eyes of several people in any given day and reflect a different image of One Who I've allowed to shape me. Hopefully, its an image that looks a lot like pure love.

Because He is the three-way reflection of me that tells me who I really am.

The voice of my Sculptor Who loves me is the One I want to hear. Not the one in my head that usually spews lies.

The following is a love letter that gently screams truth. This is going to be printed tonight and put on my bathroom mirror and that of my girls.

This is the voice I choose to hear...

"My dearly loved daughter, I love you with an everlasting love, a lavish love. You are my princess, the apple of My eye. I gather you in My arms and carry you close to my heart. I rejoice over you with singing.
Carefully and skillfully, I knit you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Every hair on your head is numbered. Every smile catches My eye. I think of you constantly. Were I to count the number of times each day I think of you they would outnumber the grains of sand on the seashore. I know you completely. I know when you sit, and when you rise. I know your thoughts before you think them; I know the words you say before you speak them.
Daughter, let me have all your worries and all your cares for I know all that concerns you. I know the thoughts and plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Open wide your heart and I will fill you with My holy love.
My love will satisfy you. My love will fill your deepest longings. Keep your heart bound up in Mine, for with Me you can do all that I have called you to do. My love for you is higher, deeper, wider than you can possibly imagine. I'd do anything for you--I gave My Son's very life for you.

I love you, precious one.
Your Daddy

And if that doesn't convince you, take a few minutes and listen to this amazing new song from Cody Carnes. It changed my world.


Love letter borrowed from Lorraine Pintus--author of Jump off the Hormone Swing


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